Monday, September 20, 2010

at this point in my life.

I've been home for five, almost six months. I already wrote the "goodbye" post. So what brings me here? Why do I feel the need to leave one last blog entry?

The reality of Italy didn't complete hit me until I set foot on Goucher's campus in late August. I didn't really experience intense culture-shock returning to the U.S. and I had one of the most rewarding summers working at camp yet. Even in July, when people would ask me, "How was Italy?" and expect stories to flow effortlessly out of my mouth, I had no idea what to tell them. "It was great!" was probably my answer 95 percent of the time. If you caught me on a good day, you might have gotten a quick anecdote about the Scot who called me "Big Rouge" in Rome (yes, this really happened). I honestly had no idea how to describe those three wonderful, fleeting months of my life.

And now I'm here. Back in the place that let me know Accademia dell'Arte actually exists. We're currently on week four of classes, and I have very few complaints. Reconnecting with people I haven't seen since fall semester, or in some cases sophomore year, has been fun to say the least and all my classes are going smoothly. I will also say there have definitely been moments I've wished I were eating lunch on the grass outside the Villa with Claire playing guitar (I know, so cliché) or laughing histerically about some ridiculous thing Mitsuru made us do during Butoh week or even dancing with sweaters. I miss having Tuscany at my finger tips (who wouldn't?). But still, I'm glad I came back to Goucher and went to Italy when I did.

So... how was it?

Aside from me understanding more about what it takes from a dancer to move in a way that looks fluid and effortless, I have been more aware of my surroundings and have a greater appreciation for those around me. I have learned that everything works out even when you can't even imagine how. I feel more solid as a person. More grounded and sure of myself and what I believe in. I am more me now.

Does that answer your question?